I have been feeling crazy for 8 months now. How come I never believed myself? I was sick. My body was decaying on the inside. They made incisions and went in to find endometriosis in my uterus (not fun in of itself). I was so scared before the surgery they were not going to find anything and I would have no answers. They found what they were looking for, and more. An infection. An infection that had spread all over the right side of my body and the organs that were there. My appendix is now gone (everyone says I don't need one anyways), and the legions were removed. Scar tissue was scraped out ... "extensive" is the word he chose to use to describe my condition. I woke up without parts of my body - but I woke up with the answers I needed. I was sad - so sorry I did not know how to take care of the infection long ago, before it spread.
I haven't felt like myself in so long. I am starting to forget.
I used to wake up in the morning and not feel like I got hit by a bus. I used to be able to run and play and hike for hours. I haven't been able to for so long. After the surgery and the initial shock - I woke up feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. The Lord protected me and preserved me long enough to finish my mission and provided a way for me to pay for this operation... the surprise no one knew was there.
It's just an ordinary miracle.
and now there is hope.
After so many moths of pain, and bleeding and emotions, maybe now I can get better. My heart has deepened for the sick and afflicted. My patience has increased for those who suffer. I feel like my heart is softer and more tender. I have been crying a lot the past three days. I am in a lot of pain - especially if the pain killers start to wear off. My body is full of pain, my heart full of gratitude.
The last test of my mission is now complete...
and I can move on...
and it feels like healing if not far away...
and it is so much easier to believe that the Lord has a plan for me.
CLICK HERE for the LINK to the song that is appropriate for this occasion.
I am so so so so glad they were able to take care of you and fix you up. No doubt soon enough you will be running and playing and hiking again. Which, by the way, we should do... go hiking at Devil's Backbone. Also, we have to take pictures with the CTR ring at the statute park. I feel like the last Mormon in Loveland to know about it. (Although, in my defense, I've only been a Mormon for like 2 months.)
ReplyDeleteI had no idea you went through all this Meg. I am so sorry but I am so grateful that you are feeling and getting better. I hope you are still doing well and recovering. I love you very much! :)
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